Crawford Tx. – Thousands of people gathered today to try to catch a glimpse of a grilled cheese sandwich that supposedly sported the likeness of Mother Sheehan, the Patron Saint of Left Causes. Mrs. Sheehan is grieving her lost son Casey, who was killed in combat after apparently being forced to volunteer for military duty, and currently camping near President Bush’s vacation ranch to protest the war. Mrs. Sheehan was recently bestowed the highest honor the Left can give: Victim.(Note: Yes, I'm aware that Mrs Sheehan has left Crawford to visit her ailing mother. No, I don't think this fact makes it inappropriate to criticize her views.)
“There’ve been rumors of Mother Sheehan’s apparition showing up on the sides of insurance buildings and even around leaky cracks beneath over passes, “ said one Chairman of the Democratic National Committee who requested his name be withheld. “But this is the real deal. Mother Sheehan has spoken to us through Parkay, whole wheat and two slices of Kraft Singles. I swear I could almost feel her pain when some of the cheese dripped onto my finger.” The chairman refused to comment on speculations that the resulting burn resembled Howard Cosell.
August 19, 2005
Another grilled-cheese sandwich discovery
Excerpt from top-notch satire at Sharp as a Marble: